Last week I took the funeral service for my brother-in-law, Sheila's brother. We all have our ways of coming to terms with loss. I had been best man at Ian's wedding 40 years ago, which added to the poignancy, and the fittingness of conducting the funeral of a good, gentle, man.
Inevitably when death comes close we are wise to think about that word inevitable. And to prepare for what must surely come nearer as day passes day. That isn't a morbid, unnatural negative thought - it's simply the truth that needs to be faced so that life can be enjoyed for what it is, precious unrepeatable gift. A human life is a succession of giftedness, each day a miracle of consciousness that we are, and wonder that we are at all. And as a Christian that miraculous wonder borrows the rhetorical prayer of the Psalm writer, "What is a human being that you care for us, mere mortals that you the Eternal pay attention to us?"
Mary Oliver is one of my canonical poets. Her reflection on how to greet death, is an exuberant celebration of how we greet life. I love this poem.
When Death Comes
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
like the hungry bear in autumn
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps his
purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the
door full of curiosity, wondering;
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon
everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as
a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable
music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,
tending as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of
courage, and something
precious to the earth.
precious to the earth.
When it's over, I want to
say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want
to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up
simply having visited this world.
~ Mary Oliver ~
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