The most stressful relaxation bath ever!

Bought Radox Muscle Soak Salts with Rosemary Parfum, as you do.

Running the bath with a generous couple of fistfuls of pale blue saline therapy.

Standing au naturel ready to be immersed, a particularly Baptist liturgical act.

The water temperature a bit hot so turn on the cold tap.

A fountain of North East cold water hits the ceiling and sprays the au naturel Baptist with a bracing deluge of snow melt temperature water.

The top of the cold tap has come loose and I try to push it back into the socket.

Won't go - too much water pressure, and the bathroom is beginning to get seriously wet.

Won't turn in the screw because I can't make up my mind whether it is a reverse screw to tighten or slacken - and by now I'm so spooked I turn it both ways without success.

Prayer doesn't help despite a number of biblical stories about rain, floods, stormy seas and how prayer makes water behave.

Yell for help. Lady of house finds the cold water supply turn off tap, but can't turn it off.

By now the tap is back in and only thin jets of iced water are escaping - an iced face shower wasn't ordered.

Change places and I hurtle downstairs turn off the water supply, run back upstairs and resume my finger in the wall approach to water control.

At last, tank drained, and tap can be screwed back together. By which time I hate water - hot or cold, Radox doctored or plain.

What started as relaxation therapy ended as emotional, mental, physical and spiritual trauma.

Went back to the tapestry and to a world where order, precision, creativity, and the myth of me being in control can be restored.

Question 1. What if I had been alone in the house with no one to stem the flow of water?

Question 2. What use theology when you need a plumber?

Question 3. What will happen when I try the tap for my next bath?

Question 4. Why not stick with the shower.................?

Comments

[helen]

Hope you've now recovered! I have to say thankyou for giving me a laugh. It did get me thinking though...

If faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, how much is needed to stop a leak?
Did you take authority over it in the name of Jesus?
Was it the will of God (in which case you should submit to it)?
Or do you have unconfessed sin in your life that means God won't hear your prayers?
;-)
please note, this is all said tongue firmly in cheek

[craig]

I keep looking in vain for a You-tube clip of this: will my prayer for one ever be favourably answered?

[Graeme Clark]

thanks for making me laugh! Hee hee hee hee

[Ian Gray]

Does that count as sprinkling or immersion?

[ang almond]

Where is the tap for the cold water supply located?
And did you 'hurtle downstairs' au naturel?
And as you have not long moved in, what did the neighbours make of all this?
Oh - and had you got a book ready to read in the bath, and if so, what was it? and did it get baptised?

I have read Helen's comments - I think you should strike the tap with the loo brush and shout "Habirem!" in a reverse Exodus 17 moment.

[lynn]

what a story, wish I had read this before I partook in today's activities. Seems kind of ironic for a Baptist to be sprayed but not immersed!

I'm wondering, were you still "au naturel" as you ran through the house to turn the cold water supply off?
Were your curtains closed?
Or has showing Christian witness taken on a whole new meaning in this little part of the NE?

[Alison]

Funny, clever, but not for me. You are too thin to dance about in the shower to get wet, and I'm too fat to sit in the bath with water. Had a similar experience with a toilet cistern ballcock rod which needed to be bent to stop overflow. Copper rod broke and left holding the brass ball as water kept coming, WATER now in the bathroom instead of outside from the overflow pipe. Thankfully my neighbour knew where to turn off the water (I didn't get that in my first degree), and he also worked for the gas board so was able to solder/fix it. Do you pay for your water by meter? If you want to save water you could bath with a friend (preferably one you are married to, who knows how to turn taps on and off,- is it woman's work). Hope you like your new home, and know God's peace and presence in it.