The unimportance of the visitor, the all importance of the patient, and the blessing of our nurses

I went to visit one of our students who is seriously ill and in ITU at the hospital. In the end I couldn't see him because medical staff were busy doing all the things that need to be done to help and support a patient confronting serious illness. I've done such visits often enough over the years, and I'm still left with several deep convictions confirmed - about ministry, about gestures, about the unimportance of the visitor and the all importance of the patient, and about the miraculous humanity of nurses.

1. To visit another human being who is going through deep times of suffering, weakness and that uncertainty that is part of every life but now and again becomes acute, is to be put in the privileged position of being allowed to minister. None of us IS a minister, certainly not by right or office. Ministry takes place when we first offer ourselves and only then whatever help we can bring. In that sense the verb 'to minister' will always be primary - the noun merely describes the person so privileged.
2. I'm sorry I didn't see our friend. But I recognise that to go, to be there, to yield to that instinct that values gestures of kindness and affirmation as part of the fabric of the grace and humanity the Holy Spirit uses in the work of healing and holding others, is to simply put ourselves in the place where, in God;s grace, intention matters.
3. Visiting those who are very unwell requires a deep and gentle firmness that recognises the vulnerability and preciousness of the other person. There are few places where it is more important for the talkative ego to be silenced than in the place where another human being is suffering, vulnerable, and more important than anyone else present.
4. Nurses are saints. I mean that in a way that could never come close to being exaggeration or cliche. I'd give them all an immediate £5k rise, just for starters. Caring for others in acute illness requires professional skill, human compassion, tough protective barriers that keep well meaning others at a distance, and an inner toughness in themselves that mean they get on with what needs to be done, but at a personal cost most of us just guess at. Few people know more about pastoral care, and how reverence and realism are both required in caring for, working with, the patient frightened at how their unwell body threatens their very sense of self.

Tonight I pray for the friend I went to visit, for his mum, his aunt, and others for whom he is a special presence in their family. I pray too for nurses, whose gift of caring brings such telling demands, and without whom illness, hospital and the thought of facing whatever lies ahead of us there, would be unbearably more lonely and frightening. Perhaps it's only me, but I've come to recognise that when we have been in a hospital, as visitor or patient, we are reminded of our mortality, our humanity, and those gossamer threads of life and possibility that are held together in that fragile tension that is our own future. Faith is to trust God in that place of fragile tension, and know that there we are held in the grip of a purpose both eternal and good.